TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
Lady: are you blind?! *I tap Biggy’s shoulder*
Me: make we dey go. *he yawn*
Biggy: I don tire for the church sef.
Pastor: choir sing a song *he walk down from the pulpit*
We were on our way after we exit the church compound, when Biggy started looking at me suspiciously.
Me: why your face dey draw like okro?
Biggy: na you do that thing wey make the babe thunder the usher face?
Me: na answer or question be that?
Biggy: anywhere you dey trouble must show face, waka fast i wan sleep.
Me: you dey awake since?
Biggy: say na me kill Jesus? I been dey sleep since, na you even wake me.
Me: how manage, why the usher no disturb you?
Biggy: I go tell you, but put leg for ground. I wan crash.
Me: i been dey put leg for water? Go crash with that madwoman na *he hissed*
We half-ran pass a smelling heaped dust bin by a plantation, were a madwoman was making funny moves.
We turned into a street with beaming street lights and I sighted three guys smoking from afar.
Me: those guys na thief oh.
Biggy: wetin we go do?
Me: act like madmen *he touched my head with his palm*
Biggy: you no well.
Biggy started staggering towards the guys that have starts walking towards us, he acted like a drunkard making funny moves and noise.
I followed him praying the stupid idea works.
Biggy: there are three little black bird sitting on the wall *he sing drunkenly*
Me: nwanye peter, nwayne paul, nwanye peter paul. *singing*
Biggy: am seeing five thousand soldiers coming *he starts counting the guys coming repeatedly*
Me: fire!! Fire!!! *I lie on the ground pointing imaginary guns, shooting with my mouth*
Three of them looked at us in pity, they shaked their heads and walked pass us, to an extent.
Biggy: take cover!! take cover!!! *running*
Me: deploy plan two *running*
Probably they looked behind them and saw that we ran like people who has not tasted a bottle of beer.
Voice 1: stop there!! *running towards us*
Voice: we will blow your head *you get gun na em you never rob bank?*
We ran with speed, i wondered where Biggy got the speed from. The way he was running, you will think he is not chubby at all.
We ran without looking back until we entered inside my room and locked the door.
Me: you for challenge for olympic medal *breathing heavily*
Biggy: i no wan die young *breathing heavily*
We slept like that without pulling those clothes we wore to the strange Church, the next morning Biggy was still sleeping.
I checked time and it was 10am since is Sunday.
The youths of the area hardly go to Church even if we recorded the highest crusade and evangelism in the State. Still, they refuse going to Church.
I wore my jersey and went to the field, when i got there they have already started long before I came.
Kelly: idiot!! Pass ball, you go commot oh.
Boy1: wetin be your problem sef *Kelly got the ball and shot him, he is on Kelly side*
Kelly is one of those guys in the area that claims to be a cultist and stubborn, he ran towards the boy and slapped him.
Boy1: Kelly wetin I do you na!! *yelling*
Kelly: na me you dey shout for? *slap him again*
Voices: leave am na, kelly the boy no be your mate na, ona wan spoil the ball.
Kelly: commot, you no sabi play ball. You come field, Vikolo you wan play ball? *no, i come watch ona*
Me: i wan play *i enter the field*
Kelly: the people wey wear clothes na our men, play defence.
We were four aside, as we kick the ball about.
Locally called monkey post, a tyre on each marked end of the field that serves as goal post.
Kelly: ona dey shoot, when i go start now…
Obi: you sabi complain i swear. *I played the ball to Kelly*
Me: oboy pass the ball na *he kick the ball violently and the ball float in the air, and touch Small*
Me: you have kill yourself *chuckling*
Small is a high rank cultist in the ruling cult of the area, they operate like political party and they are the government that keeps the peace of the area.
I wonder how he came back from prison, after i learnt some weeks ago he was taken to jail.
His weed dropped to the ground, he quickly brought out a gun and a knife, he thrust the knife inside the ball.
He entered the field looking very angry.
Small: who be that blind person wey no see say, Small dey pass? *everyone point at Kelly*
Kelly has started crying and tears flooding his cheeks already, you have not seen anything.
Small: Vic!! how far na? Chichi dey fine you. *the devil is a liar!*
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+