TOTO PASS TOTO 41+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
Madam: oga why you dey shout? Fine guy like you, no suppose dey shout.
Me: how fine guy affect my pocket?
Madam: no fall your hands ’cause of seven thousand naira.
Me: seven thousand wetin?! *my head start aching me* how manage?
Madam: your friend that one with gal, collect two plates of pepper soup and this one wey sabi enjoyment carry two plates, plus your own na five thousand naira.
Biggy: madam this your pepper soup go well oh *I eye him angrily*
Me: carry this plate of pepper soup go back before I go purge, then come back for the bill.
Biggy: madam, bring another plate!
Me: your brain divorce you? Madam dey go back oh! except you wan give am for free.
I went to each table, and the idiot Biggy has opened the two bottles of beer he ordered, and have gone halves of each bottle. Wickedness, I went to my twin brother’s table and three bottles were still not touch.
He took an opener to open another bottle, when i grabbed his hand.
Me: no try am, before heaven go drop for your head.
Victory: wetin happen? which kind mortuary flexing be this?
Me: that drink get price of human being liver.
Albino: na wa for you oh! Victor.
Me: dey wa dey go, em no concern me.
I returned the bottles and the owner of the restaurant with me did the sum of what we consumed, I was lucky I returned the remaining bottles, I paid her…
Me: madam, this your shop local but na for local rich men, I even pay your shop rent sef.
Madam: road no good, and light nodey. The transport from here to city big well well, so we dey do am to gain *I dey laugh*
Me: madam, you try *I start heading to the exit*
Biggy: where you dey go?
Me: I dey come.
Biggy: Victory, your brother don dey go oh.
Victory: em no go try am, em dey go weep for the money em spend, you know say money na em god.
Albino: are you serious, he is going to weep?
Victory: you never can tell *three of them start laughing*
I just ignored them and entered my car, ignited the engine and the headlights shone surprising them. they scampered on their feet towards were my car is, I just put the car in motion and drove out, they should use the ancient means of transportation and navigate themselves home.
Musa opened the gate after I horned for over an hour, I was not surprised to see him opening the gate with just short and a girl stood on his security house, I wondered why Musa is into fresh blood and what those secondary school girls are doing with him always.
Musa: yowa! No vex am for me oga, the sweet ko!.
Me: Musa, how you dey?
Musa: pine pine, I dey do am okay.
He started shining his colorful teeth while I made my way inside, I took a quick shower and made myself comfortable after putting my phone on silent, placed it under my pillow and zoomed off to the dream lands.
I had a dream were my phone was ringing and the caller was Abigail, I woke up and felt my phone vibrating.
I picked the call immediately ’cause Abigail was actually the one calling not one of those i abandoned to their fate.
Me: my sweet, good morning.
Abigail: don’t just sweet me, I have been calling you.
You are busy cheating on me right, *she start crying*
Me: I was not cheating on you, I slept off without knowing my phone was on silent.
Abigail: is she more beautiful than me?
Abigail: you know, am I not enough for you, why are you still cheating?
Me: what is your problem, Abigail? I told you, am the only one here.
Abigail: you are shouting on me Vic, you don’t love me *she increase her crying, I just weak*
Me: just come online on whatsapp for video.
I ended the call.. I had to switch on all the lights, then switched on my data and messages started flooding in, as whatsapp started swallowing my data.
Immediately she came online, I tapped the video symbol at the top bar and I appeared on my screen background as calling was written on it then ringing.
It showed connecting and my image took a crop box shape at the left down corner of my screen, her face came up she does not look like someone who was crying.
She was grinning and looking beautiful.
Hope they did not send this one?
I started showing her everywhere from my room to the kitchen, then lastly the restroom.
Me: did you find anyone? *she start giving me sorry face*
Abigail: am sorry, I was not myself when you refuse picking my calls.
Me: no problem, I love you, I want to sleep.
Abigail: lazy child, lets talk joor.
Me: is not me and you oh! I nodey play with sleep oh!!
Abigail: I will cry oh! If you leave me here.
Me: am not going again, lets talk *she start smiling and keeping quiet, I was just nodding my phone*
Abigail: I have nothing to say, I just want to look at your face.
Me: you need deliverance.
Abigail: from your love bah? Goodnight.
Another message: my baby! pop-up from the notification bar from Beauty, I just ignored it and switched off my data and tried to catch small sleep.
I heard gun shots outside and heard some scream, I did not know how sleep left me immediately.
My brain went to work immediately when I heard a loud bang on our gate, I quickly pick-up the padlock from were I kept it, and locked the protector from outside.
I removed the inside lock, I went inside the kitchen and locked it and removed the key from the door, I peeped from the kitchen window and saw Musa with arrow and bow charging gingerly at the gate.
Musa: na who dey knack am for my gate?
Voice: open this gate!! *gbuuu!! Gbuuu!!*
Musa: run am from here, befor I turn you to nama.
They shot twice in the air and Musa laid down flat throwing his war materials away, I went inside and grabbed all my keys pushed them under bed with my phones.
I left ten thousand naira and went under bed, I came back and removed two thousand naira from it and returned to the former position.
I started praying under the bed and confessed all my sins, as I heard Musa screaming.
I started praying that they should take the eight thousand naira on the table and leave, I heard footsteps behind my flat.
And it stopped on getting to my window…
Voice: you dey hide bah? *I nearly pee*
TOTO PASS TOTO 41+