TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
That is how the girl mind her business, I didn’t let the man wearing cap with my shoes leave my view.
I kept an eye on him, tapping my feet waiting patiently for him to drop from the bus so that I can descend on him and tear him into shreds.
Man: driver, I wan drop here *with thick bass, my heart nearly escape from me*
Me: I wan drop here too *Biggy’s house is not too far but walkable*
Conductor: oga, I think say na Ekimini junction you wan drop?
Me: I no wan go that side again.
I jumped down quickly and traced my shoe as the driver of the bus sped off the conductor was calling passengers to enter.
I ran towards the feet wearing my shoe and tapped the man madly at his back.
Me: oga, wetin happen, pull my shoe! *I yell behind him*
Man: na me you dey talk to?
He turned around facing me, he removed the cap on his shining head like it was scrapped with broken bottle and creamed with groundnut oil.
My throat went dried, as his cheekbones rises like bulldog wanting to bite off someone’s trouser.
Me: senior man, good morning.
Man: you never answer me! Why you touch me, which shoe?! *he bark at me*
Me: senior man no vex, your shoe fine well well. *he grab my collar with his hand and squeeze it*
Man: na em make you dey tap tap me anyhow, you nodey fear? *he shouted his eyes bloodshot*
Me: no vex oh! I dey fear you. *he grab my throat*
Man: you want my kill you?!
Water have pass garri, I started begging. People were minding their business, as they walked past us without even glancing or wanting to hear what was happening, they are just going about their business.
The more I begged the man, is the more he became more aggressive.
A beautiful girl walked pass, I had to hold her by her wrist so that she will stop and beg on my behalf before the man beat me up for my shoe too.
Me: sister, abeg… Help me beg my senior man make em pity me *seeing how serious I am, she consider*
Man: you nodey fear face! Iffa sand you now wetin you go do?! *spitting at me, I have to endure*
Me: senior man, I nofit do anything. I be your boy, pity me.
The girl just walked close to him and rubbed his back, his eyes soften.
He started calming down slowly, his face squeezed like someone that is about to c*m.
Fine babe: boo, just leave him. You are bigger than this. *that speech alone format his brain, he start laughing for no reason*
Man: na because of you oh!! *he release me from his hold*
Me: senior man thank, aunty thank you.
I quickly disappeared from that scene as fast as my legs could carry me, I bought a sachet of pure water that a young girl was hawking on the street, I tore it open and started s*cking the sachet pure water like br*asts before four minutes, I emptied the sachet of pure water and threw it away.
A beautiful car slowed down and parked ahead of me, I didn’t recognize the car so I just continued walking till I heard a voice calling my attention from behind.
I looked back and met Samuel, one idiot that thought I stole his girlfriend some years ago, which I did not.
I hissed and continued trekking, she drove slowly moving alongside me.
His side mirror was lowered, his face looked amusing.
Samuel: my guy, how you dey suffer? *I ignore* my guy, you don join trekkers association, them don promote you as chairman bah? *I ignore* the sun don make you deaf?! *laughing*
Me: na under this kind hot sun I bang your girlfriend anyhow, my d*ck too sweet na em make she dump you, you nodey complete for your legs side.
He got angry and parked his car, I didn’t bother looking back, I went my own.
I felt a sharp pain behind my back as he landed a hard punch on my back, I staggered forward and turned. His blows were positioned properly to attack me, he stood firm waiting for my reaction.
Me: you dey fine who go kill you, tell them say you no see me *I turn and continue walking jeje*
Samuel: you nofit do anything, stand as man face me. I go beat you turn turn for here.
I gave him the best tablet for a fool silence and continued going on my way, he ran towards me with his feet making lot of sounds as he charged behind me to punch me again.
I shifted aside quickly, he lost balance as he forced himself forward.
I pushed him so hard that he went ahead and hugged a soldier man from behind who was talking to a girl, that is what Jesus meant by “it is finished”.
I did not know how I did it, and did not know what I did, I find myself in another street almost close to Biggy’s house breathing heavily.
I went directly at his door and knocked, I started hearing loud m*anings from inside.
I knocked harder, infact… I used my two hands in the process so that they will hear the sounds.
Biggy: who be that madman?!
Me: na me Victor, open door I wan enter.
Biggy: enter to do wetin?
Voice: baby am tired, you love s*x too much.
Biggy: is just the fourth round na, abeg.. Lets just do small again.
I knocked harder even kicking the door, he was still begging but the girl did not agree.
I didn’t stop knocking the door.
Biggy: wetin be your own, them untie you from chains before you come here?
Me: oh girl no gree oh! Em go only expand your toto. Las las em no go gree marry you.
Voice: Biggy will you marry me?
Biggy: yes na, you know I love you so much.
Me: no gree oh! Why em no engage you for the first round. Em dey gear four now, if em enter gear five em go say em no want again, no gree oh!
Biggy: you be wizard oh! Them send you for this hot sun?
Me: sister, kingdom of hell is real oh!hell fire dey real, that guy go only destroy your p*ssy, em no go ever marry you.
Voice: he is saying the truth, leave me alone… All you know is s*x s*x, look at how you are f*cking me like am a wh*re.
Me: I tell you, wear clothes go your father house oh!
Biggy: Victor! Victor!! How many times I call you? We go put legs for one trouser oh!!
Me: na two times Biggy, them dey f*ck person pikin for hot sun like this?
I started hearing foot-falls from inside, I waited patiently at the door for them to come out.
The door opened and I came in face to face with a familiar face.
Me: Felicia! You too!!! *I scream, she cover her face with her palms*
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+