TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F*ck Mark Z.
I scratched my head as ideas failed to creep into my head, I opened another page in my head that contained three ways to escape danger.
Me: I travelled immediately after the robbery, am not at home… Sweet.
Abigail: where did you go to? *she ask suspiciously*
Me: I went to see my parents, they are disturbing that I have not visited them for a long time so I seized the opportunity to travel and see them.
Abigail: I thought you said you were beaten to mouth of grave, how were you able to travel?
Me: you ehnn… No be wetin I talk oh! I just go hospital for trauma check up because they almost shot me with the gun they held, but God in heaven no gree.
Abigail: I see, uncle when are you returning, you know tomorrow is your birthday and we are celebrating it together *that birthday is scary*
Me: I will be back in the evening, is there no emergency today. Aunty go safe life *she laugh*
Abigail: I will call you later, Sweet.
She ended the call and I logged in my facebook account to check if there is any message from Beauty.
There was lots of messages from friends, I saw her icon showing green indicating she is online.
I tapped the screen part displaying her icon and met a message from her.
Beauty: what happened to your phone? *her message*
Me: they stole my phone, I will buy a new one and retrieve the line *I reply*
Beauty: I will get you a new phone tomorrow, talk to you later.
I exhaled the breathe I was holding, Beauty was not curious after all, she cares less.
I logged off after she went offline.
Me: aunty secretary come oh! *she enter my office after few minutes*
Secretary: yes, you called me.
Me: yes na, prepare employment letter for Cynthia, she has the job.
Secretary: but sir, that girl looks like a criminal, she will be stealing the industry funds, we should take one of the male. *look at you? So that ona go f*ck from office to roof*
Me: aunty secretary, I prefer the girl. Who even tell you say she go see the industry money? Na money record she godey keep not the bills, carry your but and go prepare the paper. *she look sad about my decision but has no choice but to do what I ask her to*
I felt uncomfortable about tomorrow, I felt like something very bad will happen tomorrow, I needed someone to give me advice on how to handle double-dating palava, and the right person is Victoria.
She is very sharp and can date two brothers for as many years as she want without them being aware that they are both dating the same girl.
I called my twin brother immediately for my call, he picked quickly.
Me: sweet boy, wey my car?
Victory: I dey carry am come your work place, chill.. You too harsh joor.
Me: I dey wait for you.
I ended the call and placed my both legs on the table before me, the way the A-C is doing my body, ‘I know say big man sweet, poor man no know’
After an hour my secretary informed me of the presence of my brother, I asked her to let him ‘that one sweet me die’.
He came in, and I wore an eyeglass I saw on the table wondered who kept it there, I wore a serious face as he walked closer.
Me: young man, what do you want? *with thick bass*
Victory: big man no even fit you.
Me: drop the car key disappear joor!
You wey big man fit still dey hammer garri and groundnut like hobby.
Victory: na joke na, help me drop me for somewhere na *I take the car keys and put in my pocket first*
Me: you no get transport fare, I pity you oh! Start to trek dey go so that you go meet up on time.
Victory: pity your one and only twin brother na, abeg na! Just a lift.
Me: you get luck say I wan commot sef.
I arranged my table and took my briefcase then both of us marched out, I locked my office and we walked pass my secretary section. I suspected the way my brother and my secretary looked at each other,
Me: that woman husband na butcher!
Victory; ehhnnn… She don marry?
Me: ehnn.. You no see the ring for her hand.
He scratched his head and we entered my car, I ignited the engine and set the car in motion.
He dropped at the junction while I took a U-turn to my destination.
I got to the address that Victoria sent to me, the environment is serene as it is a government reserve area-GRA.
I called thrice before she picked the call.
Victoria: hello, who am speaking with?
Me: no kill English abeg, tell your gateman make em open gate, I dey outside with my range rover?
Victoria: no carry that keke napep put inside my compound oh, no inflict my house with poverty *I laugh*
Me: I come with car but no be range rover, tell am to open gate joor!
Victoria: hmmm.. Where you go thief car?
Me: I go go back oh!
Victoria: ah! Ah! Person nofit play with you, I go tell am.
I horned and the gate opened on it’s own, I didn’t realize that aunty Vicky has hit jack-pot until I entered the compound that made me see myself as very poor dude, is this not oversea in Africa.
Everywhere is sparkling, as I came down from my car and looked at things inside the compound, the more I look around I saw money everywhere, I could only breathe out ‘wow’.
Victoria was at the garden with her husband, she waved at me and I walked towards them.
I nearly pulled my shoe so that I can step inside the garden with beautiful and dazzling field grass, ‘people get money for this country oh’.
Her husband is a handsome man but with pot-belle, men with pot-belle are handsome especially those without pot-belle.
A fair tall man as he stood to have handshakes with me, he looks like money and he won my respect.
Me: good afternoon, sir.
Man: afternoon, so, you are the one my wife’s is talking about? *I nod* you are a handsome young man, I will look for a better job for you. *I become confuse*
Victoria: thanks honey.
Me: thank you sir *I grab his hand with my two hands, the handshake don change level*
Man: can I leave now, I have an appointment to catch.
Victoria: yes, honey. See you in the evening. *he peck her and left*
I didn’t take my eyes off the man as his movements speaks money, even his shoe speaks money, he should be breathing money too.
The man is very calm and opposite of Victoria, who I know can do and undo.
I wondered why in morale spheres opposite attract much in this current century of us.
I faced Victoria…
Me: how you take do am, which Baba lawo?
Victoria: mad boy, you don chop?
Me: no, na em make you be my house mother, you nodey ever disappoint.
Victoria: for food bah? No do marry oh! *she stand up, looking like those ladies that you will feel inferior to approach if you don’t have Rang rovers sport*
Me: Aunty Vicky, you look so potato, the man sp*rm dey work oh!
Victoria: you no go ever change, follow me, before you go go enter beware of dogs.
That is how I magnet myself with her, rich people’s dogs look like hungry lion.
We entered the house and I knew there is places like heaven on Earth, their are servants everywhere.
And a white lady came down from the staircase with a baby in her hands, she is not like ass-less Italian girls or boobs-less European girls, she has everything an Africa lady could boast of and everything a white lady holds as pride.
I couldn’t help but stare and imagined myself dating someone like that, black versus white ‘how ona see am?’.
I know Victoria will not agree to it, she took the baby from the white lady and she said hi while I stared away without replying.
She went up, I was still staring, is like that day was meant for staring.
Victoria: I know say you don give am like six rounds with your eyes.
Me: me wey be priest, na who she be sef?
Victoria: you wan chop food or talk about her first?
See question oh!
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+